Thoughts

I was encouraged and inspired by reading Liza's recent post. I love that she reminded me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I, so often, focus on what I don't feel is "wonderfully made" about myself. But, today, I wanted to focus on what God sees. What He believes about me. What He wants from me.
Yesterday, I was asked to consider and pray about the possibility of being a discussion group leader for my Thursday morning Bible study. This wasn't something that I had really ever considered, so when it was mentioned to me, I didn't quite know how to respond. I was a bit hesitant because I am not one to say "hey, everyone, look at me". Being in the limelight isn't my comfort zone. I realize that this group facilitation role wouldn't require me to be the one "teaching" or necessarily "in the limelight", but it would most certainly prevent me from "just blending in" as much as I have been able to in the past. I've never really loved having people focus their attention on me. In my mind, facilitating a group=people will be looking at me more than usual. While discussing why I've never really pictured myself in such a role, my friend challenged me to think about why I don't seem to see myself with "leadership potential", why I only see myself as a "behind the scenes" kinda person.
At least, partially, I already know why this is. Confidence. I lack it. I guess I've always kinda thought you needed to be confident to be a "leader", that you needed to have a big, outgoing personality that everyone is drawn to, that you needed to be more "qualified" than I am. And, I don't really have that kind of confidence, personality or qualification. Plus, I didn't enjoy being a jr. high leader, several years ago. And, I wasn't particularly adept at keeping 8 jr. high girls on topic.
Yet, I've been thinking. And wondering. And praying. And reading. And, I've been trying to determine whether God is wanting to stretch me. Whether He is asking me to step out of my comfort zone of "blending in" and let Him lead the discussions, using me as His vessel. I'm wondering if this is something God is calling me to do. I don't, by any means, feel "qualified", but I'm wondering if maybe I'm "call-ified".
As I have been mulling this all over, I've come across these encouragements:
(from Beth Moore's devotional Believing God: Day by Day and from God's Word)

• "I am who God says I am.... More than any other faith challenge I face, believing that I am who God says I am necessitates choosing what God says over what I feel. I want so much to be a woman of faith. In fact, I'd give just about anything to be a woman God would characterize by her faith, since nothing pleases Him more (Heb 11:6). But, if I'm really serious about believing God, I also have to believe what God says about me. No small challenge. How about you?"
• "God will give you every place you step your feet for the glory of His name if you let Him."
• "See, God says His Word is alive and powerful, and I believe Him. He also says His Word is powerful when it's in me. Yes, me--a bundle of faults, fears and insecurities. Just think! My weakness is not strong enough to wound God's Word. Neither is yours. God does His job. He speaks to accomplish. We don't have to make Him. We just need to let Him."
• "Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties." Ps 139:23
• "...For in You do I trust; Cause me to know the way in which I should walk, For I lift up my soul to You." Ps 143:8

So, I am debating between my two opposing thoughts: Leadership isn't my gift and His strength is made perfect in my weakness. Feel free to pray for me as I try to hear what God wants from me.